


Malignant, Benign

by Frangipanidownunder



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 08:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16215560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frangipanidownunder/pseuds/Frangipanidownunder
Summary: Missing scene from Redux II Cancer arc angst prompt: “There’s too little of you and too much of me.”





	Malignant, Benign

It’s been getting bigger and bigger. Increasing, growing, aggregating, amassing, accumulating. He’s filling up with it and it’s out of control. He’s seen the way mushroom clouds roil and roll, radiating out and up and nothing can stop their trajectory. He’s seen it and now he feels it. Inside him, there’s been an explosion.

Scully doesn’t know. Hasn’t seen it. Can’t see it. Besides, he’s supposed to be dead. Where she hides her feelings, he hides his secret too. As surely as the demon disease inside her body is eating itself away, his body is hosting a parasite that is filling every cell. Malignant.

He meets Samantha in a diner. He feels congested. He can’t focus on what’s happening. This thing is invading his brain.

“Please let me go,” Samantha says. Her words suck the breath out of him. But the thing inside feeds on it and he drives to the hospital, knows he has to see Scully.

Her room is still, heavy. She’s curled on her side and the strange light of the room outlines her diminished form. She is so small on that bed, it breaks his heart. His strong Scully. His fighter. The thing inside him burns at the edges of his body and he sinks to his knees beside her. The chip. The empty promises of the cancer man. Bill’s disdain. Maggie’s silent confliction. Samantha’s fear. He wants to scream at the world. Release his rage into the night, open his chest and reveal the pain in hot, angry, beating words. Instead, tears slip from his eyes and he clutches Scully’s cool, papery hand.

“I’m sorry, Scully.” His eyes hurt to open. She’s undisturbed by his presence, and he is grateful. “I’m sorry it’s you and not me. If I could trade places, I think you know I would. You…have always been the strongest one. I…let my anger push me into dark places but you…you channel yours to do the right thing.”

The sheets rustle as she shifts and he pulls back slightly. A soft sigh fills the space between them and he feels it adding to the growing sensation inside him. The thought of her breath inside him dries his tears. He looks down to where her feet are pointed to the end of the bed, to where her knees are drawn up to her chest, to the way her chin is tucked against her chest. Foetal. At the end of her days.

The mass inside him swells, forcing words from his mouth. “There’s too little of you and too much of me,” he says, laying his head against the edge of the mattress. “Your body is wasting away and mine is being fuelled by a need that I can’t interpret, Scully. I don’t know what to do any more. I need you by my side. I need to…I wish…” She stirs, her eyes flicker open and the dim light catches the shadows on her face. It makes her look like she’s smiling. Serene, ethereal.

In his mind, he hears her encouraging whisper, What do you wish, Mulder? She blinks slowly but her mouth remains slack. There’s hope in the beats that follow, as she decides whether to rouse fully or to slip back into the comfort of sleep. He holds his breath, trying to contain the force inside him. Her eyes flutter and close.

He presses a kiss to her mouth, gentle, just a murmur against her lips. “I wish I could save you.”

At the door, he turns back to her. Her body seems to be bigger, stronger now. There’s more of her under the sheet. And as he walks away, his body is lighter, his limbs more fluid, his mind clearer. Benign. 

He touches his fingers to his lips and dares to hope.


End file.
